Lessons learned from a Halloween birthday

Halloween has always been my favorite secular holiday. It also has been a great day to have as a birthday. During my childhood I thought that Halloween and all the related hoopla was all about me. I would open my birthday presents over breakfast with my family and then head to school where all my classmates knew that Halloween and my birthday were synonymous.

We would rush home at noon, change into our carefully crafted and infrequently purchased costumes and then run back to school for an afternoon of fun. My mother always brought cupcakes and we had a party in our classroom before and after parading around the school and meeting with the other classes in the gym for a school-wide celebration. There was always lots of candy and candy-fueled laughter and high jinks. Teachers were patient and even fun on Halloween and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and each other. My birthday dinner was always early and festive, followed by trick or treating for fun and even more candy. The neighborhood streets were full of kids of all ages in costume and parents following the little ones. That was the Halloween of my youth.

The full afternoon of partying in costumes ended in middle school, but Halloween was still celebrated throughout my school years and the celebration of my birthday was intertwined for friends and family.

As an adult I still love Halloween. My husband and I typically take the day off and while we don’t dress up, we great each and every trick or treater with candy and check out their costumes - and always wish more would come our way. I have enjoyed the steady expansion of pumpkin flavored dishes from muffins and breads to soup, ravioli, bagels, ice cream and lattes.

I have embraced the trend of decorating for Halloween – inside and out. I collected pumpkin art – glass, ceramic, porcelain and prints, finding they can stay up much longer without carved faces, even year round in some cases. Actually I overdid the collecting and had to get rid of three-quarters of my collection when we moved to DC.

Slowly over the years I came to realize that Halloween was not all about me. I noticed that the other classrooms celebrated without seeming to know it was my birthday. As my world widened I noted that Halloween was celebrated by people I did not even know. My biggest shock came when I learned that some religious traditions do not approve of Halloween and certainly do not celebrate, or allow their children to celebrate a holiday they believe glorifies evil.

Having a Halloween birthday has taught me some life lessons, some more important than others:
=Even when I am positive it’s about me, its not.
=Sharing celebrations and traditions build communities and families.
=People can try on other identities without changing who they are.
=Good people can see the same thing very differently.
=Too much of a good thing is still too much.

Perhaps because we are at the end of what has been a very long and arduous presidential campaign, it occurs to me that candidates and their advisors could benefit from some of these life lessons. However, the lessons of Halloween are universal.

Facilitating for civic engagement

Last month I had the privilege of facilitating for an America Speaks project with the State of the USA. America Speaks vision is one of transformation, "that the public's business will be conducted differently - that by developing a rich national infrastructure for democratic deliberation through our projects, innovation and collaboration, we can access the collective wisdom of the American people."

That of course was what attracted me to them. Their projects involve bringing people together to discuss and inform issues of concern to America Speaks' clients. I have admired their work for some time and had looked for an opportunity to join their cadre of volunteer facilitators when my schedule permitted.

The opportunity arose when I saw call for facilitators for a State of the USA session for the non-profit and philanthropic community leaders. I have been following the new initiative to develop an agreed upon set of national key indicators, believing that this would give us a common standard for measuring progress that has been so sorely lacking. The State of the USA (SUSA) was created to develop this objective set of standard measures, which will be available to on their website. I believe these key indicators will be invaluable to everyone involved in planning and evaluating policy and programs.

"SUSA’s mission is to unite nonprofits, the media, government decision makers, business leaders, scientists, educators and citizens around a single goal: to deepen our knowledge and understanding of the country’s most pressing issues. SUSA will offer Americans a new tool to help them assess where our nation is moving forward and where it has stalled."

I saw that SUSA was not just a client of America Speaks, but a natural partner. The organizations share the common values of improving our country through widespread collaborative efforts. I also appreciated the efforts SUSA is making to seek input from a broad spectrum of stakeholders, knowing that that is what will give the project credibility and make the indicators useful.

The session was in DC on a day I had available, so I sent in my credentials and was pleased to be selected as a facilitator for the session seeking the input of non-profits and foundation regarding SUSA's plans and initial work on indicators. The American Speaks facilitator orientation laid out the goals of both organizations and the upcoming session. They knew the facilitators were all experienced professionals and so they suggested issues that might arise and provided an opportunity for those who facilitated the previous session with the policy analysis community to share what they found helpful. We were shown how that previous session had impacted SUSA's plans and were incorporated into the day's agenda.

The session went as planned and I was excited to see both how well the America Speaks process worked and how important the input of the participants was to SUSA. The participants largely responded with serious deliberation of the questions and enthusiasm for SUSA's goals and process. This was all the more impressive because the caliber of non-profit and foundation people invited are those most likely to disengage or simply leave if they feel their time is not well spent. The debriefing for facilitators was thorough and helpful. It was clear that both organizations wanted our feedback and will use it for the next session with business and industry. If my schedule permits volunteering again, I will certainly do so, as I am eager to learn more about the America Speaks process and see SUSA develop its indicators based on yet another group of stakeholders.

Sometimes to no avail

Sometimes collaboration can be well planned and well executed but fail miserably. Last week's second presidential debate was a good example. Five months of planning and negotiations. Everyone agreed to the rules. Neither candidate followed them.

My sympathies were entirely with Tom Brokaw. Been there, done that. You think the parties have worked together in good faith to come up with a program that is the best they can hope to achieve. You move forward on the assumption a foundation has been built, only to find that one or more key players never intended to follow the rules to which they agreed. You have a choice - either call them on the violation or adapt and try and make it work as well as possible. Brokaw tried both, with a mix of determination, good humor and exasperation. I know how he felt.

The difference is that I never had 63 million people watching me try to herd cats.

Of course you might think that the candidates might want to look like they care enough about the process, or their word, or the people asking the questions – at least in front of 63 million viewers.

Apparently not.

Collaboration happens

Despite how difficult collaboration can be, examples of successful collaboration can be found all over. I celebrate and learn from those examples, and so I keep my antenna tuned to find them.

I recently found two of them during a work-related trip to Meadville, PA.The first was at the Holiday Inn Express, where I found some of the best customer service that I have ever experienced.

Upon arrival the person at the desk was quick to explain the welcome wine and cheese would be closing shortly and everyone should help themselves before checking in. It only got better after that. Every single employee I encountered made it their priority to ensure I was having a wonderful stay and was experiencing no problems. It was an amazing experience to feel like I was the most important person staying at the hotel. I saw employees helping each other out, problem solving together and obviously supporting each other's work. In addition, everyone I saw seemed to respect and like each other.

I had to learn more about what created that type of environment so I interviewed Connie Darke, the general manager. I asked her how the property achieved such a pervasive and high degree of customer service. Connie would take little credit for herself, saying that what I was seeing were good people that care. I knew that good hiring in and of itself does not produce the results I witnessed so pressed for more details.

When asked about customer service training I learned it was provided by Travaglini Enterprises, the owner of the nine hotels, including this property, and a restaurant. The Vice President of Training comes to Meadville to do training, with a goal of empowering the staff to make them feel like they own the hotel and authorizing them to do what it takes to satisfy their guests. Connie said Travaglini focuses on customer feedback rather than occupancy or finances, knowing that the bottom line will take care of itself if guests are happy.

Connie follows up on this training by coaching the staff on an on-going basis. She also holds monthly lunch meetings where they review and discuss all the customer feedback received that month. They also celebrate instances where employees thought outside the proverbial box in an attempt to satisfy a guest.

All this is aimed at employees looking at the hotel building as their home, and the customers as guests in their home. Connie explained that just like a family pitches in and does what it takes to get ready for company and make company happy, employees know that it isn't OK to say something isn't their job. Its their mutual responsibility and everyone is to help everyone else make sure the guest has the best possible experience.

The great thing is that it works! I had asked for a late check out so I could leave my bags in the room until I left town, and when I went back I found the room was in the process of being cleaned. When I checked out I casually mentioned this and the Marissa at the front desk, who was appalled and extremely apologetic. Before I left she handed me a handwritten note of apology with an award of 1000 extra Priority Club points. You can be sure that if I am ever back in Meadville, or in any of the communities where Travaglini owns properties, I will be staying there.

The second collaborative find in Meadville was a inventive display of road signs turned into art. This project was a collaboration between PennDOT and the Allegheny College's Center for Economic and Environmental Development (CEED). CEED engages Allegheny College students, faculty, and the community in creating innovative approaches to environmental stewardship, environmental education, and regional revitalization. Time did not allow me to track down the individuals involved, but the resulting art speaks for itself: